From a spam subject line: “Aliens Deny Impregnating Paris Hilton”

Is the bigger story that she’s pregnant, that she had sex with one or more aliens, or that aliens are on this planet?

(Yes, I know it’s a Madlibs thing and none of it is true. It’s still funny.)

At the Kimya Dawson show Wednesday night:

KD: (tuning guitar) So…Are there any questions? Woman in Audience: What’s your favorite color? KD: Blue. KD: A sort of brownish blue. (audience chuckles) KD: Neon clear.

Patrick: Back in 94, even the porn was done in ASCII art. They even made the pictures by using the first letter of the name of the body part they were drawing so there was no confusion. You know, like BBBBBBBBBNNN. Me: What letter did they use for, you know, down there on a girl. Patrick: Why, “P”, of course. Me: Why not “V”? Patrick: Because it was porn. If they used “V” they would have to call it art!

I think that’s about the time that Bethany laughed and called us both dorks.

[Republished from Patrick's site.]