TP

Thursday, 30 August 2001

So I’m at the grocery store the other day, picking up a few, much needed, supplies. Things like soda, bread, noodles, rice, paper towels and toilet paper. Last time through, TP got skipped because the store didn’t have the right kind and I wasn’t down to my last roll.

Standing in the aisle, looking at a wall of toilet paper, they still didn’t have the right stuff. Resigning myself to a substitute, all I see are 12 packs, 18 packs and 36 packs, but nothing smaller. Normally I by four pack because I’m not home that much. Four rolls lasts about a month and the bathroom storage space holds five at most.

While I understand the 18 and 36 packs for families, I’m just one guy. What on do I need with even 12 rolls of toilet paper at one time? I gave up landscaping in Jr. High School.

Over and above storage considerations, transportation for that much toilet paper is a challenge. The package is so large I practically need to stick wheels on it and ride the thing home.

My other purchases barely filled a grocery bag. This room divider sized package would require a third arm to carry it, a case of soda and the bag at the same time. Even splitting the pack would mean two extra bags and not enough hands to carry them all.

I ended up breaking down the package and shoving several rolls into my messenger bag. That got me down to two bags, plus the soda. Wouldn’t you know it, the food bag broke on the way in the front door, obliterating a carton of eggs. It was only fitting that I used the extra TP to clean up the mess…I forgot to buy paper towels.

Wednesday, 29 August 2001

After requests from more than one reader (I didn’t even know there were any, let alone multiple) a FAQ is now available. It tells you a little about me and even has a picture!

Thursday, 09 August 2001

She was articulate and strong willed. Sure of herself and unwilling to let anyone get in the way of that. I had a thing for her from the moment we met.

She worked with a friend of mine and occasionally showed up for our Wednesday night Mensa gatherings. We would crack jokes and have a great time. I loved her brown eyes with the impish twinkle. And damn, was she cute!

A grad student, she was working on a degree in social work. Every so often she would need help with her computer and I was always willing to lend a hand. We put in a couple late nights and two or three Sunday working on her master’s thesis. It was interesting and I actually had fun.

In all honesty, it was not for entirely unselfish reasons. I had hoped we could get to know each other better and perhaps go out on a date. I never actually did get up the nerve to ask her out. My excuse was that I could never tell if she was the least bit interested.

I would call her just to chat and see how she was doing. She would call when she needed help. I didn’t think much of it since she had two jobs plus school to contend with.

Finally, graduation rolled around. After the ceremony, her mom and her friends gathered at a nearby restaurant. When it came time for presents, she noticed there wasn’t one from me and asked about it. In front of the group. Flabber-gasted, I admitted that in my haste to get there on time, I had forgotten it at home. To my amazement she added that I had her address and could send it to her.

Ummm. No. I took it back it instead.

It finally dawned on me that the only time she called was when she wanted something.

I called her once after that. Ended up leaving a message on her answering machine…which she never returned. About six months later she did call, saying she was just on vacation and had a question about her computer.

This time I didn’t call back.