Saturday, 09 May 1998

The power is out. It has been for more than three hours now. A dead tree fell during a wind storm and it knocked down one of the lines a block or two away.

I’m left without my usual creature comforts that I’ve grown so accustomed to. No computer, no stereo, no television. The telephone works only because there’s a backup battery inside, a feature I gladly paid extra for. When the battery wears down, I’ll have nothing. I’ll be completely cut off from the outside world with only my thoughts to tide me through. Even now, as the light dims, there isn’t much left.

It’s only now that I realize I’m an addict. Not to drugs, alcohol, sex or other common addictions, but to technology. Take away my technology and I don’t know what to do, I die and grow cold. I express myself through the various pieces of electronica I surround and shelter myself with. Without them I am nothing. My body is the chips, wire and cards, my soul the bits and bytes that flow within them. My emotion is my craft, my art, how I make my soul dance.

A Web design, a new piece of program code, writing documentation, doing research. They set my spirit free. Without them I almost feel as though I can’t live another minute, going on is just unbearable. A sure sign of addiction if there ever was one.

The battery on my flashlight is about to die and there isn’t enough light to see. In mere moments I’ll be swallowed by the darkness. I hope the power comes back soon, I don’t know how long I can last….

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